Whenever it hurts.

Seems like the wound from the past is opening once again. It's painful. It hurts.

Whenever I fix something here in the house, I keep asking, "how would it be better?", "Should I turn it like this?", "Should I click this one and put this here.", "Why does this keep falling?", "What seems to be the problem?", "All of a sudden?", "Here we go again.". Thoughts and questions like these surround my mind like a bumblebee - irritating.

Some of my days are not good, some of them are just as lucky, some make me laugh all throughout the day - While some are.... just good to be true. I know there wouldn't always be good days - there are bad days. I've learned that we can't avoid that mere fact, yet we could balance OR imbalance it.

Life can have more bad days than good days. 

Life can have more good days than bad days. 

And life can also be equal.

I belive that life is meant to be lived and not to just be alive. Living is different to being alive - though in dictionary they are almost the same. Being alive for me is like being marked as present in the class, while living is being able to participate in class. Being alive for me is like attending a meeting, while living is being able to be called out - either by positive purpose or negative purpose. Being alive for me is like standing under the rain, while living is being able to dance with it.

All is just and right. People keep thinking about things unsubtly - making it hard for them to accept things. I can't blame them for thinking deep nor I can blame a dog for peeing at the carpet. What happened, happened - as simple as that. Back then, I was a double thinker - like I think about things so much. 

And then one day, I stop thinking deep - I began thinking subtly. And u know what I realized? While I spent more time thinking on to how will I make the television work again, my dream bird is at the window looking at me and waiting for me to paint it. While I think about the meaning behind someone's action, my favorite celebrity just passed by me. While thinking why salt and sugar are almost the same color, my friends are outside laughing joyously.

People overestimate what they can do in a single day, and underestimate what they can do in their whole lives.

And so now, I learned to live my life - I learned how to appreciate everything around. I always say back then that time is gold, yet I just let it passed. And so now, I came to realize how beautiful life can be when it is lived subtly. Let things happen and never regret your decisions as long as you are responsible for it. Never regret what your life was before because it can never define the one you are today - the past may be in the past, yet it is still a part that builds you.

Live your life the way you want it - without any regrets nor despair. Balance.

May your life be filled with more good days than bad days.

May you find happiness in everything that you do.

May you cherish every single day of your life.

May you always be happy.

May you always smile.

May you grow.

Be you.